Caregiver Stress
Caregiver Stress
The tree that bends in the storm doesn’t break.
Caring for an aging parent or spouse takes its toll. With all the stressors of modern life this one can be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Of course you want to show up for your loved one but, like they say on the airplane, the oxygen must go to you first.
It is a sign of our times that more people are living longer. There is more opportunity for time together, to share in the extended family but there is also more time for dementia type disease to set in, more time for caregiving and the ensuant feelings of overwhelm and resentment.
Generally speaking one child steps up to help his or her parents. Sometimes two. But most of what I’ve seen is one person accepts the responsibility and may carry it (and a lot of anger) for a very long time.
There is help available. Groups or one to one therapy for the burn-out you feel can do wonders toward bolstering your spirits so you can do a better job. They can help you express your fears, your angers, your frustrations, your grief, all the facets of your situation which soak up your much needed energy.
Dementia is among the cruelest of conditions which await one out of two of us by the time we are 85. Caring for a loved one who is no longer in his right mind is really tough work. Support is crucial to allow you to ventilate and be understood and heard by someone who knows the drill and has been there.
I have lived the sandwich generation, caring for an aging parent while caring for my children. I have lived and cared for a spouse with dementia. The balancing act is not easy but, with help, you can find the path that works for you.