Motherhood
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
Sydney J. Harris
Nothing will ever make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, as motherhood. Ella Parsons
When you cast your fate to the wind and decide to have a child, you move into the great unknown. Anything can happen. Your body is on the line. It’s a time of excitement, fear, wonderment, joy and everything else in between.
Once the little muffin is here, it’s only just begun. Suddenly your life is not your own. It is a shock to the nervous system. Somehow your vision of how it would be all cozy and fuzzy changes behind frayed nerves, dark circles under your eyes, cranky exchanges with your mate, expectations that get dashed as the division of labor becomes increasingly skewed (and not in your favor.)
I know the joys and difficulties of parenthood; my oldest child will be 52 this June. I found then, in the 70’s, women, armed with the Pill, were opting not to have children. I was in the minority. I found other mothers reluctant to share the myriad of feelings about motherhood. It was off limits. I remember walking in my Noe Valley neighborhood with my child in the stroller seeing women on 24th Street chanting, “Children oppress women.” The social climate about those who had children was critical and almost “criminal”. To a new mother overwhelmed by my 24/7 job, this certainly didn’t help. Dealing with all the confusing feelings was done alone. Guilt, anger and fear were shoved to the back burner.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you are off to a shaky start with your child because you are experiencing conflicting and negative feelings about being a Mom, there’s no harm or shame in addressing this when it too is in its infancy.
One to one sessions with someone who understands and accepts your feelings can help you transition into the most difficult job in the world armed with a sound base and tools to work with.