Grief Counseling
“May I honor—and trust—the processes of grief and healing, knowing that, in time, a new day will come.”
Martha Whitmore Hickman
I was tired of well-meaning folks telling me it was time to get over being heartbroke. When somebody tells you that, a little bell ought to ding in your mind. Some people don’t know grief from garlic grits. There’s somethings a body ain’t meant to get over. No I’m not suggesting you wallow in sorrow or let it drag on; I am just saying it never really goes away. (A death in the family) is like having a pile of rocks dumped in your front yard. Every day you walk out and see them rocks. They’re sharp and ugly and heavy. You just learn to live around them the best way you can. Some people plant moss or ivy; some leave it be. Some folks take the rocks one by one and build a wall.”
Michelle Lee West
Grief is one of life’s darkest emotions. Losing a loved one at any point in life can derail us. Living in a country where grief is something that is rarely understood or accepted, those of us who are suffering too often keep silent.
In a recent 60 minutes interview with actor Liam Neesom whose wife, Natasha Richardson, died suddenly after a fall while skiing, he said, “Grieving is like being a three legged table.” Your balance is gone and can be toppled by a thoughtless remark, or by something someone does or doesn’t do. Grief is cunning and resilient as it moves through its stages. It’s common to get stuck in anger, to suddenly be unable to perform duties you are accustomed to, to feel like(or wish that) your life too is over, to suddenly start whiting out friends names from your address book. These are only some of the myriad of symptoms grief presents to us as it moves through its stages.
Suffering your grief in silence can prolong the healing process. Grief needs a witness to help move the heavy energy death brings from a place of walking through cement to rejoining life a wiser and more compassionate person.